yesterday: NIU shootings, i witnessed a bank robbery, got trapped on an el car with a crazy man who had first beaten the crap out of another man then wagged his penis in my direction, yelling obscenities, leaving me to cower helplessly in the corner of the train car.
it was also Valentine's Day.
and Oregon's 149th birthday.
i'm confused and upset by these events, but caught myself looking forward to the few days from now when other nasty events will grab my attention, and give me something else to be disappointed in. this is a horrible way to think. an awful way to live. looking forward to the next disaster, so i can get my mind off the recent ones.
while i was watching the report on the school shootings from a television at the diner tonight, the waitress looked at me, clucked her tongue and sadly stated, "People just don't wanna try to be good anymore."
i pondered that phrase all evening, trying to focus on my classes and lectures, but i just couldn't get those words out of my head. "People just don't wanna try to be good anymore." is that true? is it THAT difficult to be civilized? i don't understand. i hope i never do.
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